I have been thinking and writing the introduction to this first entry several times. I was using metaphors, binary parallels, funny stories, you name it, I tried it. Finally, I realized simplicity is best. Why have I decided to start a blog?
Only recently, I embraced the fact that I may have something worthwhile to share, personally. Also, only recently I have been acquiring the courage to share it.
My upbringing was complex, as most are. I was raised in a family where women were extremely strong and yet were policed and self-policing to obey the status quo of the patriarchal order. They were doing the job-and-home double shift, always valued men’s words and wishes, and behaving the way a “proper woman” should. All that rather than speaking up and following their dreams. Women in my family were almost hiding their strength and yet being strong beyond measure. I was also raised in a cultural context where people historically didn’t trust each other, where conformity in all aspects was desired and “staying in line” was the way to be. It was also a culture where there was a tension between grandiose heroism and a feeling of inferiority versus the “West.” Even though we traveled and moved around, my family’s culture remained intact. Growing up, all that resulted in me not daring to ask questions but rather questioning myself. It was a powerful mix of restraints in the guidance I was inhaling.
I remember being powerful and fearless when a little girl, and, over time, being captured in a container and forced into a shape I didn’t fully embrace. It took me leaving, literally, across the vast Ocean, to un-learn and re-learn who I am and who I want to be, what I stand for and how do I connect with this world and others. It was a process to confront and deconstruct all the assumptions, biases, labels, beliefs. It is a process. Everything is a process. It was also a process where I embraced my upbringing and the tools, resilience, and insights it gave me. There were and are many adventures along the way. They continue. The process continues. The process of unlocking things for myself. By doing these little steps, I’m unlocking myself, bit by bit. This blog is a step towards my full roar.
I discovered that for me, the roar is all about connections, understanding them, nurturing them, spreading them: connections to myself, to people around me, to my community, to my ancestors, to the society I live in, to the world and finally to the cosmos; connections in personal, social and professional life.
I’ve been wondering and second guessing myself, why should I write if there are already so many voices out there, in this virtual space? Countless blogs, countless accounts of countless experiences. Why one more? Then I thought that it is like an ocean composed of billions upon billions of drops. Each one counts. My voice, similar to yours, matters at all levels and it doesn’t, all at the same time. Plus, does a waterfall ask whether its roar matters or not?
This is what this blog is about: connections that unlock the roar. Asking and sharing is not a sign of weakness or ignorance, as I once thought, it is an act of courage and contribution. So, here I am, sharing questions I got answered throughout my process that’s called life, and questions that I keep on asking still that matter to me. I hope it will also bring something beneficial for you.
